Saturday, September 13, 2014

I'm back.

Hello everyone!

I'm officially back. Back in Newcastle. Back at uni. Back-I hope- on the blog.
I know it's been a long time since I've last written but in the past few weeks life has been overwhelming.

Israel was a life-changing experience. I met wonderful people with whom I shared a unique connection.

I saw incredible places and breathtaking landscapes. 

I lived in a country at war, confronted myself with the ethical and human issues which came with it. 
I travelled alone, I pushed the boundaries of my comfort zone to an extent I would never think possible, I healed my soul scarred from a (now I know) unhealthy relationship. I might have even found some much needed self confidence. 

Most of all, I found myself. Somehow, in the past 2 years I have lost some fundamental pieces of my identity. The drive to be the best I could possibly be. Writing. My dreams of travelling. 
The past 2 months brought them all back and, more importantly, I have learnt to accept myself as I am (maybe not entirely, but I'm getting there).

Coming back to Newcastle was a huge shock to the system. Everything was different: the food, the sky, the people. The air smelt different and I felt once again a stranger in a foreign land. Starting placement in hospital was much harder. I found myself wondering what I was doing, if this was the right choice. Memories of small moments from the summer would resurface without warning and leave me breathless, suspended between tears and laughter. Somedays I need to pinch myself that this summer was real and not a beautiful dream. 

Coming back was good too. Moving into the new beautiful flat with Aaron and Claudia, like a small dysfunctional family. Even though we are a bit changed after a summer of adventures, our bond hasn't, which is very precious to me. 
They spoiled me rotten for my birthday!

Catching up with friends and seeing the warmth they welcome you back with. Meeting new people in the hospital. The Great North Run weekend with my parents. 

Placement itself is exciting! After the first week, I am starting to enjoy it although it's tiring. It makes me realise that this is the job I want to do, and somehow this knowledge is helping to settle back in. 

Yes, I miss Israel. Yes, somedays I wish I was still there. I miss the people I've met there. But for now my place is here in Newcastle, studying medicine.

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